To My Three Daughters
May You Always Know
As I think about each of my girls on this special day, I am filled with gratitude and hope. Being here with them every step of the way, seeing their personalities emerge, and watching them become their own little people is a gift. To my three daughters: be clever, be strong, and be kind. And remember, every girl you meet was once just somebody’s daughter.
There is a poem by Jess Urlichs that captures so many of the dreams and wishes I have for my daughters. It’s a reminder of the values I hope to instill in them as they grow.
"May She Always Know"
"I want my daughter
to know her own strength,
to know love without borders,
and dream at great length.
I hope she is brave,
and I hope she reads books,
when people say she’s pretty -
she’ll know it’s more than her looks.
For she’s pretty smart,
and she’s pretty kind.
May she be heard for her voice,
and seen for her mind.
As she grows into a woman
I hope she stands strong.
For some will try to knock her,
but I hope she holds on.
Because her power is great,
and cannot be measured.
Her passion and vulnerability
should always be treasured.
May she know the difference
between right and wrong,
not because of some rules,
but what is in her heart’s song.
May she question the narrative,
make choices, speak clear.
May she never repeat herself
out of doubt or fear.
May she strive for big things
in a world that screams thin,
just as a man’s size does not define him.
I hope she sticks up for those who need it,
herself included; I hope she believes it.
May no one dim her light,
May it shine,
May it grow.
What a force that she is.
May she always know."
My Eldest Daughter: Bold, Brave, and Finding Her Voice
When I think about my oldest daughter, Arbela Hope, now three, I am struck by how fortunate I am to have been by her side for every milestone, every struggle, and every joy. She is amazing. She does hard things, works through big feelings, and is learning to express her emotions openly and honestly. Recently, I’ve started hearing my own words echoing back at me through her—when she gently reminds me, “It’s okay that you’re having a hard time, Mama” or tells me, “Sometimes I have a hard time with my big feelings, too.” These words, which I’ve said to her many times, now serve as a reminder of the responsibility we have as parents. She’s always listening, always watching, and it’s up to us to teach her well.
My Middle Daughter: Sweetness, Light, and Boundless Joy
Then there’s my second daughter, Valletta Joy. She is the very embodiment of her name—joyful, kind, patient, and funny. She lights up every room she walks into and has a gift for making people feel seen and loved. She is playful, gentle, and so patient, especially with her sisters. When I watch her interact with others, I am inspired by her kindness and her natural ability to make people feel at ease. She reminds me every day of the importance of being caring and warm toward everyone, from family to friends to strangers.
My Youngest Daughter: Smiles, Giggles, and Pure Innocence
My youngest, Verona Grace, is only five months old, and right now, she is just full of smiles and giggles. She’s healthy, happy, and brings us all so much joy. Watching her smile reminds me of how precious these early days are, when life is simple and sweet. I hope as she grows, she finds strength and comfort in her family, knowing that she is loved unconditionally.
Teaching Strength: Showing Up Despite Fear
Strength, to me, isn’t about having no fear or doubt; it’s about showing up and doing what needs to be done despite those feelings. It’s important that my daughters know they can lean on me, no matter what. And it’s equally important that they know they can do hard things, and that hard things are worth doing. I hope they grow up knowing that strength is found in vulnerability, in showing up for themselves, and in believing that they can push through tough times.
Kindness in Everyday Moments
We work on kindness every day, in small and simple ways. Whether we’re out at a restaurant, meeting new people, or just spending time as a family, I encourage my daughters to notice those around them, to be gentle and considerate. We talk about being kind to each other and to ourselves. I hope that by instilling this value in them, they grow up knowing that kindness is a gift we give freely to everyone around us.
For Other Parents: A Space for Inspiration and Connection
If there’s one thing I want for other parents who visit my blog, it’s to feel comfortable and seen. Parenting is full of ups and downs, and I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can create a space that inspires and supports you, not one that leaves you feeling like you’re falling short. I want my words to be a reminder that none of us are alone on this journey. Whether you’re raising daughters, sons, or both, I hope my posts offer a little encouragement and a reminder of the beauty in these everyday moments.
To my daughters, and to all the children out there who will shape our future: may you grow strong, clever, and kind. May you never lose your light. And may you always know that you are loved, deeply and unconditionally, just as you are.
